Jun 23, 2022
I respected you. I adored you. I wanted you. I thought you knew. Unsaid, unbidden, My feelings once a spark, Now a flame. One word of yours was enough to douse it. You had never known. You had never wanted me. You respected me. Thought me a friend. But nothing more. I was not as important or special to you As you had been to me. And even then, the moments we shared, The laughs, the conversations, I am loathe to let go of you. I fear change and yet your one word has changed everything. I thought you mine, You were never mine. I treated you as mine, You treated me as yours, We were never each others. We were ‘just friends’. ‘Just friends’ that argued like a married couple, ‘Just friends’ that flirted at every turn, ‘Just friends’ that held each other close, ‘Just friends’ that never set any boundaries between each other. You say you are sorry Sorry for what? Making me feel like I could be yours? That I could call you mine? That I had found what I had been looking for in you? That you made me fall for you? That I felt alive with you by my side? For becoming my safe haven? What were you sorry for? Was your apology genuine, Or were you just expressing regrets. Regrets for having met me Regrets for getting to know me Regrets for ever letting yourself near me. What were you thinking? I never could tell before, Nor can I tell now. Even as I sit here, Wanting so much to hate what you did, I defend you, your actions, and words. I fight for you against everyone else, I crave your presence, I want you near me. Even when I know all it is going to do is cause me pain, I still want you. Even when I know there could be no us, I still want you. Why won’t you leave me? Why must you stay. In my mind, in my heart, in my thoughts. Why can’t I let you go? Why was I not enough? What did I not do? What did I not say? Why am I never enough?
Jun 22, 2022
Love. Joy and pain. Heart holds the rein. Silences my mind On a quest to find That one thing to fill its void Only to learn it’s a futile toil. Friendship masquerading as more Chips away at it, leaves it feeling sore. Was anything real Were we ever on same even keel? Were your words a mere spiel Meant to make my heart kneel At your whims and fancy? A mere puppet on your strings Played with till your heart sings. Is my pain the reason why you smile? Twisting the dagger deeper, all the while you beguile. Was I that easy to sway, A willing lamb for you to use and play? I trusted you, with me my heart my fears my past. Never did I think I would feel it thrown back at me so fast.
Jun 22, 2022
In Short Stories
He wandered into the forest at night, a foolish idea now that he thought about it. But he had promised Layla that he would meet her by the lake in the middle of the forest to stargaze. And he didn’t want to stand her up. So here he was, taking the risk of entering the forest, in the middle of the night. Thankfully it was a full moon night, and the moonlight lit his path up, guiding him to the lake. He was sure he would have tripped and fallen somewhere to be found by predators. The smallest sounds spooked him as he trekked along the path. Shadows made him jump. The forest had an ominous feel to it even lit up as it was in the moonlight. He could hear the howling of wolves that lived in the forest, the owl hooting, each sound echoing. He felt like he was being watched, his head constantly swiveling to the sides to check if he was being followed, or worse yet, stalked by some predator. Soon he could hear the flowing water, smell the wet soil. He knew he was near the meeting point. The thought of seeing Layla excited him. She was, after all, why he had decided to risk walking through the forest at night. Breaking through the tree line, he didn’t see her. He walked closer to the lake, breathing a sigh of relief seeing a figure sitting there. He jogged up to her, gently tapping her shoulder so as not to spook her. She did startle a bit regardless but turned around and graced him with a beaming smile. Her smile made his heart swell, a longing sigh escaping him unbidden. He sat down beside her, both gazing up at the sky, staring at the stars that littered the vast expanse. He glanced over to look at her, the serenity on her face bringing a smile to his face. Feeling his gaze on her, she turned to look at him too, a question in her eyes. He took a breath, feelings his heart pounding, his nerves shot. He held out his hand for her. She placed her hand in his, feeling him squeeze it in return. Holding her hand, he decided to take the leap. He knew nothing would happen if he did not take the risk. So, closing his eyes, he centered himself, calmed his nerves. He then opened his eyes, staring into her, gently squeezing her hand. He poured his heart out to her, the stars the only witness to his confession. His words moved her to tears, a smile on her face as she listened to him. Once he finished talking, she just hugged him, her reciprocating confession muffled by his t-shirt. He had risked his heart tonight, but his gamble had paid off. She loved him just as much as he loved her. Maybe, risks weren’t always bad. Sometimes you had to take the risk or risk losing a chance.