To have your challenge entry recorded, please write your piece as a reply to this thread.
As a central theme of Consistency is the existence of time — ensuring that you are writing on a timely and daily basis — the theme of this month’s prompts will also be about time.
Today's prompt: [Seasons]
Definition: each of the four divisions of the year (spring, summer, autumn, and winter) marked by particular weather patterns and daylight hours, resulting from the earth's changing position with regard to the sun.
╰┈➤ Write a piece that involves this concept.
Word Count: Minimum 300 words, no maximum.
Petunias blossomed on the bushes outside the classroom windows the day Kiana first met Mei. Kiana, whose eyes loved to wander and stare, had not left the girl’s back since the moment she noticed purple hair standing out in a room of black and brown, classes be damned.
Kiana caught a glimpse of Mei’s eyes—purple and shy of blue, at the front row seat of the classroom she has yet to be familiar with. It reminded her of anemones, swaying constantly in water as it moved back and forth from the chalk board to the notes she wrote on her notebook. Careful hands and a sophisticated posture carried poise, even in the way she pushed her hair over her shoulders and wiped away eraser residue from her desk. It was rare, the color of her eyes and hair, but so was the thump in Kiana’s chest when the girl she couldn’t take her eyes off of, looked behind her shoulders and flashed a smile.
Kiana remembered vaguely that petunias were a deep shade of pink but no redder than her cheeks when Mei waved at her. The world seemed to stop for what seemed like an eternity so everyone and everything looked at her. Winds sneaked past the windows to tuck strands of hair behind her ears and reveal her bright eyes and shy smile, and sunlight slipped through the gaps to paint her face a soft yellow. She must’ve worn a ridiculous expression because she silently laughed up to her eyes but boy, did Kiana not care. She would poke her fingers up her nose and leave her mouth agape just to see that smile.
As old and brown leaves ceaselessly fell from branches, so did Kiana, whose heart pounded as loud as the crunch of autumn leaves on pavements on a busy September afternoon. She fell for the wind that carried leaves and flowers from branches and blew them away as it did her.
Kiana once pointed out the flowers growing outside their classroom. It was hard to see through the blizzard and fog but Bronya could spot gardenias growing out of patches of snow in the bushes by the windows. It reminded her of her childhood when days passed too quickly and the nights lasted too long.
As a child, she was always excited to feast and open presents with her friends at the orphanage, and awaited the fall of the first snow in the morning before Christmas. The snowflakes formed outside her window and the pile of snow sinking her boots outside the orphanage was few of the many things that kept her giddy for the rest of the holidays.
Nowadays, snow had always fallen long before Bronya was awake. The city lights kept her awake and up until mornings, especially in the company of friends who had no sense of time like Kiana. At her age, homework and video games mattered more than feasts and piles of presents, and the first drop of snow wasn’t as special as it was when she had nothing but the orphanage. Even though time no longer agreed with Bronya, however, it was also because of friends like Kiana who reminded her that holidays never lost their charm.
In the middle of the school year for a year-end school project, Bronya developed a hobby of taking pictures. She puts up polaroids of her friends and family above her desk with cheap washi tape Kiana gifted her for Christmas and framed photos of her friends from the orphanage on her bedside table. Beside a photo of gardenias right above her laptop was Kiana and Mei’s laughter shared many nights ago immortalized in a picture. Just as the snowflakes on her window put a smile on her face, it was one of the many memories that kept her warm through a cold and harsh December.
I made a friend this summer. Her name was Madeline, but everyone called her Maddy, as did I. She was kind and loved to bake, and I felt special when she brought me a slice of cake or a muffin. We both liked nail polish, though she liked pink and I liked black. (We often painted our nails together.)
But aside from that, we didn’t have much in common.
I liked to skateboard. She liked to bike, but would never stand up whilst doing so.
I liked to watch TV. She liked to read and refused to watch the movie adaptations of books, because apparently they were always inaccurate.
I liked video games. She wasn’t allowed to play them because her parents said that they “encourage violence”.
I killed every plant I ever owned. She was a natural green thumb and tended to her mother’s garden.
So we’re pretty different. But that didn’t stop us from being friends. We had sleepovers and I tried to help bake (but I ended up pouring in too much water and it turned out all mushy) and we talked about school and our dreams about the future.
It all went wrong when, despite her hesitance to do things she considered to be dangerous, we went ice-skating in the winter. She didn’t want to go, but I convinced her, and so she clung to the railings for dear life. I pushed a little farther with my luck and took one of her hands and asked her to actually skate, no railing-holding.
She ended up breaking a bone.
I went to visit her in the hospital, and she told me she never should’ve gone skating with me. That in fact, we were so different we probably shouldn’t be friends, because I always wanted to do dangerous things and she never could, or if she did this was how she’d wind up.
It hurt. I apologized and left the hospital, and we never hung out again.
I never would’ve expected that to happen, but as strong as I think a relationship is, it was always fragile, as was my next friend.
Kaitlyn only lasted two seasons: summer and fall. She was much more adventurous, like me, and at that time she was super into boys, too. I wasn’t so much, but I did have a crush. On Tony Wilson.
Tony had big green eyes, red hair, and he was taller than most kids his age. Sometimes at school Kaitlyn would try to flirt with him, but he didn’t really know how. I asked him out one day (it’s the twenty-first century). He said yes.
We had dinner at Lone Star where he complimented me on my dress and then we watched the sunset.
The next day, I told Kaitlyn all about it. She said she couldn’t believe I would go out with a guy she liked and I had violated the girl code big time. I said I didn’t even know she liked him, and that was the truth. She asked if I hadn’t seen her flirting with him, but she knew I had, and I had to confess I just thought she was playing around, flirting jokingly.
This made her upset, but she brushed it off and told me to stay back and that Tony was hers. I didn’t know what made her think she had a claim on him, but I watched as she made her move the next day and asked whether or not he was going to take her out after “all this flirting” they’d been doing.
Innocent Tony said he didn’t even know they were flirting and sorry but he was already with someone. I didn’t expect him to say that; he’d only had one date with me. But it made me blush and I wanted to go on a second one with him. Which he asked me to that day.
I didn’t know that in doing so I would make Kaitlyn very mad. After all, it was Tony’s choice. But the next time I saw her she told me she wasn’t my friend anymore.
I wished she would’ve just been happy for me and moved on so we could still have been friends, but hey, maybe I was better off and would find a friend who wouldn’t leave me because of a boy.
My next friend was Tony, technically. We broke up because he realised he was gay, but he made a great friend and we would go to movies and picnics and hang out and talk about guys. It was nice.
But I also made another friend, in the spring. Lila was her name. She was an aspiring author and I helped her out with ideas. She said I was her muse. She shared some of her stories with me and I was amazed...she was a wonderful writer.
I was always a fan of picnics, so she took me on one. We braided each other’s hair and lied down and watched the clouds drift by. She pointed to one, saying it looked like a bunny.
She confessed that she liked me.
I said I liked her too.
But she said she meant it in a romantic way. I wished I could’ve reciprocated her feelings. She was pretty, and smart, and wonderful to be around, but I just couldn’t.
After that things got awkward. She really liked me and at the end of spring she couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t think she could be around me.
Friendships can break for so many reasons. It’s so hard to find a friendship that lasts long, and most are only there for around a season. But all of them have a reason. Every person helps you grow.
Sometimes, yes, I did think making a friend was pointless, if the relationship would inevitably come to an end. But it wasn’t pointless.
At twenty-one, I was still friends with Tony. He’s lasted a long time. Might even be a forever friend, or so I believed. And hope for more kept me making friends.
Every time I step outside, I’m hit in the face by something different.
The first time was the blazing heat rays of the sun. The blast was so great that I thought that my face was going to be slapped off—or melted off, for that matter. My eyes were on fire, and I was forced to go about my day squinting like a little idiot who forgot his sunglasses. “It’s so dang hot,” I kept mumbling under my breath, sucking on my sixty-fourth ice pop. “How do people stand this heat?” And people were for sure muttering around me about how I was a very much not outdoorsy person. Well, by the time I returned home, I was fifty shades tanner than I was, and sun-burnt in places where I didn’t want to be burnt, which is to say any area of my skin. Screw the sun, that’s all I had to say. Time to retire to my air-conditioned room and not set foot out for another eternity.
The next time I bothered to go outside (I ran out of cat food) I was immediately assaulted by a flying leaf. How strange, I thought as I picked it off my face. So large and brown and crisp and— Wait, it hadn’t gone bad, had it? Weren’t leaves supposed to be green? And there were so many leaves, everywhere I went, and they kept on dropping on my head and in the hood of my sweatshirt and my shopping bag and I couldn’t pick them out at all and there could be little bugs and I—
“Having trouble, young man?” a grandpa asked, sitting outside of the convenience store.
“Yeah,” I replied. “This is so dang annoying. Where do they keep coming from?”
“Be thankful it isn’t raining caterpillars,” the old man replied, fufu-ing in a way that was about to piss me off.
“Yes, the fuzzy kind.”
Ugh… On my way home I felt like there was something crawling on my neck the whole time.
The next time, there was a literal blizzard. Yes. I’m not kidding. Snowflakes immediately covering my face and threatening to burn it off with the cold, and still I had to go and shovel the walkway. Stupid, stupid, stupid. The ground was only going to be covered again in a few minutes. When I got back inside my hair and clothes were covered in fast-melting snow, which was annoying because I had just put my clothes in the washing machine today. My sister laughed at me because I called it a blizzard. She said it was a normal day. I refuse to believe so.
I guess, the last time was the nicest. Pink flower petals drifted through the air, obscuring my vision. The wind was warm, and the backpack felt a little lighter on my shoulders. A cute girl stood across the street from me, waving.
“Yo, Honda-kun! Long time no see! Are you finally coming back to school?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I held a palm up, catching one of the many flowers. “Is it always raining flowers?”
She grinned. “Nice day, isn’t it? Come on, let’s walk to school together!”
Maybe the outside wasn’t so bad after all.
◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤The Eternal Spring ◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤
PT. 1. - The Love.
How long must I wait
until I see your face again.
How many nights must I lie in this state,
held only by the cold uncertainty of ‘when’.
I met you in spring.
Our paths entwined into one.
Once a rocky beginning
blossomed into love.
I loved you for ninety days
and ninety nights alike.
Cherishing your ethereal heart
until I called you mine.
And though you spoke of goodbye,
I never thought it’d come.
For what could ever break apart
the lovers we've become.
But just as you said,
the moment came
for us to separate.
Nothing could've prepared me for
the ache your absence left.
I met you at the start of spring,
And said farewell at the end.
Our love lasted only a season,
And my pain lasted the rest.
What followed were long months
drowned in desolate longing.
Longing for a season that I never treasured,
and now its absence haunts me.
But even the sun’s glow in summer
and the colours that autumn offers
felt more like the bleak of midwinter
waiting for the flowers that brought you.
PT. 2. The Pain.
Never did I think
being devoid of someone could hurt
Quite as much as
being away from you does.
My heart bleeds
for the season of life
and the joy it brings
when you return.
But tell me why,
Must we always part
with the season?
Why must you go
time and time again?
Is this love of ours
not enough for you?
Do you crave me more
when I’m not with you?
You say it’s fate,
that our love’s destined for pain.
But I believe not in fairytales
nor in the gods that threaten damnation.
So next time the season comes,
I will be prepared.
This newfound purpose has
brought me great solace
throughout our time away.
Fear not, my love,
this time things will change.
Our love will no longer last
just a mere season.
We’ll be together.
For the rest of our lives.
Even if it means,
basking in the eternal spring forever.
A rainy sunny day
You experience no fall, nor no autumn. You experience not even the snow of winter. The closest you'll get to "winter" is the sound of the loud raindrops tap dancing on the roof or outside. You only experience either the sun, or the rain. Despite that, you ever rarely feel the sun shine, even if its light seeps through the curtains. You only feel the rain, the sound of heaviness, a cold feeling within you. Only the seasons of Summer and Rainfall are what you know. But it is only Rainfall that you are familiar with. With every passing day the cold only grows, and yet you let yourself sink into the freezing sensation of your thoughts swarming you, similar to how the sound of the rain fills your head. As the sun rises you feel nothing else but the coldness of before, even if the warmth of sunlight shined it's brightest, your frozen self brings nothing but hopelessness. No thought comes in mind, no feeling nor emotion as even the sun begins to shed a tear.
As time passed, with the sun shining it's brightest every day, you finally begin to thaw, you begin to feel the light in it's purest form, not tainted by thoughts despite an army of them. The sun becomes more warm, thawing the ice faster as you now long to feel the embrace of warmth. Little by little you feel more and more free from the restraints of ice that one held you captive.
Now only the warmth of summer is all you feel, and you long for nothing else as the flowers around you sway and dance with the wind. Although the rain still comes, the sun always comes back as well, drying the tears off your face. The only summer you love.
Sofia missed the fragrant leaves of the lemon tree in her old office. She had never been good with plants, any gifts from her parents had resulted in brown corpses in less than a week. She had learned to cope, she and plants don't get along, but for some reason, she thought with that lemon tree it would be different. Too bad she'd never see it bloom if it did. What's more, it had most likely turned to dust by now.
Sofia didn't have a scientific cell in her body, but her management department under the most advanced and popular space company in the country had been lucky enough to be selected to work in the new headquarters in the last known and now habitable planet. While Sofia wasn't complaining and had volunteered, however, even though she had said goodbye to her elderly parents and superficial friendships (she wasn't good at making friends), she thought she wouldn't miss anything, heck, an exorbitant amount of money a month really helped, however, Sofia realized she hadn't thought about everything she would miss, everything she didn't say goodbye to, like the seasons.
Sofia left just before she saw the lemon blossom, well into summer. The intense heat of the afternoons that forced her to turn on the air conditioner that was too noisy for her taste, the same summer that gave her the perfect excuse to wear all those pretty skirts she was too embarrassed to wear any other month, when she could pamper herself with popsicles every weekend and go get her feet wet at the beach.
She didn't realize how much she would miss fall too, especially the limited edition merchandise that all the stores brought out every year, the mugs filled with owls, colorful scarves that she never wore outside the fall and winter months. Oh, winter, with brightly colored lights on every street, the smell of cookies in every store and sweet syrupy perfumes. She would not see the snow melt in the soft but warm rays of sunshine in spring, nor would she see the lines of children on field trips to museums and zoos.
Sofia awoke from her slumber when she heard over the speakers that dinner was ready. Sofia got up from her bed, walked to the door and before she opened it, she reached into her right pants pocket and sighed. What kind of stations would her new home bring? And the most important question, would there be soil suitable for lemon trees? Sofia squeezed tightly the lemon seed she had brought with her, as if to comfort her.
Word Count: 320
Seasons change, time passes by. People get strange and we ask ourselves why. Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring. A repetition that happens every year. People get old, food gets mold. We sing happy birthdays and grieve in different ways. Leaves fall and flowers bloom. Families play with snowballs or beach balls and throw them with a boom!
Graduating caps are tossed into the air. Smiles and laughter greets them no matter where. What a beautiful age to experience. A rawness and edge, something so curious and glorious. A summer’s dream. A fever dream. Something so beautiful to gleam. A lover’s memory, protected and treasured for a century. Its cream coloured feelings bring a soft smile to their old cheeks. The blush that peaks speaks their secrets. The evidence of the love that still keeps them awake at night. The white stomach butterflies that fight at the sight of an old photograph.
Years come and go. The future always seems to go slow, while the past is- whoa. It’s already come and gone. Each season is a combination of the colours of the rainbow.
Summer is always hot. A bathsuit is a must to be bought. Fall has the chill breeze that strips the trees. Winter brings old pains for the knees and makes you sneeze. Spring is a nightmare for the allergies that bring challenges of red nosed calamities.
They are a never ending cycle. Even if you hate them, they are vital. Brave their weather and you’ll be gifted something even better. Their ruthlessness is alluring and maturing. Nature adapts and overcomes the extremes. Even when there are no means they find the right genes. We should learn a thing or two. Watch as birds flew true with no clue that they could have fallen and become stew.
Nature is an excellent teacher, we should just listen to it more carefully. Nowadays, it’s been a kinder creature than humans, certainly.
Summer was, without a doubt, the *least* best season. That's how Strange always saw it, at least. Can you really blame him? He can't stand the hot weather, it's so humid out that he feels like he's going to melt, and his wardrobe consists almost *exclusively* of dark, baggy clothes. It's a recipe for disaster, and one he unfortunately can't stop. (Except for the variables he can stop, which he isn't too keen on changing. Strange thinks that the surrounding climate should change to fit his clothes and not the other way around, actually, and the fact that that's not how it works is very telling of the society we live in.) God, he can't wait until it starts getting cooler. Any season is better than this. Literally *any* season is better than this. The heat is also exhausting to be out in for too long, especially for someone who tends to lurk about indoors instead of absorbing all of the light rays that happen to fall anywhere near the Sunshine State. So here Strange is, at the end of a long day at work -- that work being helping out Beau with all of his gardening nonsense -- fatigue hitting him like a truck, at his table, with his tea that he goes out of his way to never *ever* sweeten, and seriously considering just putting his head down and taking a fat nap then and there. He hates Florida. He *hates Florida.* If it wasn't such a hassle to move and the state-specific scholarship didn't tie him down, he would have by now. The sound of a key turning in the apartment door lock moves through the otherwise quiet room, and Strange nearly doesn't register it. Living alone for a year or two made it very unsettling and almost unadjustable when someone actually started coming over to talk to him on a consistent basis, but now that it's been a few months, he's grown very accustomed to it. And this system they use lets him know who's at the door, which is also a relief. Sullivan is the only other person with a house key. Well. Apartment ...? Key ...?? You get the point. “Hey!” Sulley invites himself in as always, books in tow that he really doesn't need to be carrying around everywhere. Especially not on days where they didn't even have class. Strange is too tired to nag on him about it again today, though. They'll live. “So I was wondering -- oh my god, it's *ridiculous* today, the light is actually blinding and it reflects on every surface and you can hardly *see* out there --” Sulley starts rambling, and everyone who knows Sulley knows that once he starts talking, he does not stop for anything. Strange just might know this better than anyone else. He finds himself zoning out as they talk, going off about how if they could just change the seasons at will, then they would, but then going into the ethics of what that would actually be like if people could just bend reality to their will and actually, you know what? Maybe the seasons are fine the way they are, maybe we don't have to change them and- hey, Strange, buddy, you there? You listening? Hello? Strange? *“-- Strange!!”* He feels a sudden pain in his head before sitting back up. Dammit, he thinks as he props his head up on one hand instead of just flopping forward again. He must've nodded off without realizing. God, he's so ready to go to bed. What time is it? Where are they? Are we done yet? “Are you alright?” It's as if Sulley learned how to teleport to his side out of the sheer willpower that can come from concern. Or maybe he could teleport the whole time and is just now choosing to reveal this superpower. Or maybe Strange was supposed to know the whole time and he's a fucking idiot. Any explanation works. “My bad.” “Dude, are you good?” “Yeah, just actually went outside. Quite literally touched grass, it's like the whole point and Beau kept telling me how to do this and how to do that and like ... I think he's really sweet, he can just be ...” His sentence trails off. It's unclear whether that was intentional or if his train of thought was genuinely just completely derailed at that moment. “... you know?” Sulley did not know. But he was going to nod and go with it anyway. “.. OH, THAT'S what I was going to say!! Okay okay SO.” Sulley pulls out the other chair and sits down across from Strange. “I know you hate the summer because you think it's all icky or whatever --” “It IS all icky and whatever.” “Which is fine! Valid! And you don't really like that oceanography class, BUT. I think I've found a way we can maybe go do something and incorporate those things into one thing ...? And maybe make it all less stressful?” “Like ...?” “I'm not sure! We'll figure it out later.” From the looks of it, Sulley tries to fight off a yawn and ultimately does a terrible job. “'m thinkin' maybe something like ... going out and taking notes and stuff on things we see? I think that'd be pretty ... pretty neat ...” “Your idea of fun is very skewed.” “You're just not looking hard enough.” “Maybe.” Strange appreciates the gesture, really, just as much as he appreciates the way that their dynamic is this kind of default way of talking to each other. It definitely looks a bit odd on the outside, and to anyone who doesn't really know either of them, Sulley can come across as too eccentric or even hyper and Strange may seem completely unapproachable, but they've both gradually started working beyond that. Things developed from a reluctant partnership one time for one competition to an actual ... friendship. And one that's far less stressful than some of the other perils that have been thrown his way or general direction over the years. It's ... nice. ... Why is Sullivan looking at him weird. “You're .. smiling.” Just as quickly as it showed up, it was gone. “No.” “You can't just *no* that!!!” “Yeah, I can. Just did.” He stands up. “... it does sound like a good idea, though. The whole- immersion business, I mean.” “Cool!” ... “But, uh. We're not doing that today, right?” “No. Way too tired.” And now his head hurts to go along with that. “Understandable.” “And it's also way too hot out.” “Oh, yeah, agreed.”
TW: IMPLIED DEATH
"I will love you through all the seasons."
It took me a millennia of losing you to understand that.
Finding you was spring. A new soul in a different body. I'd fall in love for the hundredth time as if it were the first, and you for the first time in the hundredth incarnation over. Petals showered like colorful rain, a highlight in the background of seeing you again. It was a new, indescribable form of peace to meet your eyes again, in whatever hue they were.
Being with you was summer. Running around the shorelines and splashing each other with the cool water. We'd always taken time to dip our toes in, never forgetting to run away and hide in the shade of the palm trees. Passion over passion as beating of our hearts thrummed in our eardrums with rhythmic tune. I never felt so alive than in those moments. No longer immortal, merely living each day as an adventure.
Staying with you was fall. We stayed in on chilly days with our cups of some form of hot chocolate. You never liked coffee, and I never liked tea, so we settled for middle ground. I wanted to settle, but every time I asked, you said no. I never got to bring myself together and ask why.
Losing you was winter. I was a hypocrite for asking, because I never stuck around to see your last breath. After the first ten times, I realized that I couldn't numb myself to watching you go, to erasing all our memories. To lose everything and have to restart. I didn't want to have to find you all over again.
So this time I didn't.
This time I watched from afar.
You met someone else, someone you would love throughout every season. The next ring on your finger would not be mine, neither would your heart. Though you will always possess my own, even if you'll never know it.
“Damn witches meddling with the damn weather again. It’s unusual, isn’t it?” Police Officer Lingam chided, skipping down the cobblestone street.
“Aiyo! That’s such a rude thing to say! Don’t forget, I’m a magicless-witch. This weather is unusual, yes, but there isn’t a magic tingle. And you’d have to give a lot of your essence to create a rain that powers literally half the continent.” It was the rainy season, too. “The way you say witches makes it sound like you’re talking about a million year old germ.”
“Yes. I am. Witches killed my family, you know that? It was a few decades ago, I was a wee baby. You know the time when this anti-human witch organization tried to kill a village? Aye, that was mine. I even know their names. Heard them whispering when I was hiding in the closet. Aarthi. The damn witch is still kicking. I am 102 years old now. Probably could arrest her but under what law? ‘Oh! 41 years ago they were a Forever Witch-er.’ Yeah, know one will believe me.” He took a deep breath. “Love me some trauma dumping.”
The way he said all this so randomly stopped me in my tracks. No wonder for all these years he’d pinned every case on witches. Pit pocket? Mind controlling spell. Murder? Forever Witch. Unusually strong storm? ‘Damn witches.’
“You know why we’re here, in this killing weather? To investigate this rain. Got a message from the meteorologist department saying it wasn’t supposed to rain today. Guessed it was magic. Now we’re going to the Taulau Stronghold. Witch queen’s most important ‘embassy’.”
Taulau? Dear gods. “Lingam! You do know what you’re talking about right? Taulau! The guards have a kill on sight law! Even the queen approves of it!” Queen Bavani was only merely tolerating the witches, but after her husband’s death, she hated them. But an act of aggression against witches meant war with many states.
“Only way to find out if it’s true is by entering their grounds. We’ll show them our warrant. Tonight’s going to be a long night, Ratri.”
Star Date: January 13, 2021.
To an introvert like myself, the changing of the seasons doesn't really matter too much. If anything, I suppose I start using the space heater more during the winter and the air conditioner more during the summer, but that's really it. That's pretty much the hermit life for you. Who needs to go out and experience the biting cold of the freezing winter or the blazing hot summer sun when you can spend all day in the comfort of your own room, doing things that actually matter. Let's be honest, when you're the owner of seven different Discord servers and a moderator in 13 subreddits, you need to be on call and on your toes at all times. If anything, going out to buy clothes, interact with people in real life, or shower is just asking to be caught in a moment of weakness, and we all know the delicate balance of both the subreddit and the Discord server communities takes almost maximum priority, second only to my nigh-endless supply of Cool Ranch Doritos. Jealous trolls are waiting at every virtual nook and cranny, just waiting for the perfect moment to take me and my trusty staff team down when we least expect it! They can't handle the idea of a new social media entrepreneur such as myself gathering such staggering amounts of internet clout and will stop at nothing to see my downfall. Well, they can cope and seethe, because I'm not letting my guard down for a second. I refuse to be belittled, verbally assaulted, and conspired against ever again, even if it takes moderating every community I can with a vibranium fist! The other day, I even got a letter hand-delivered from someone claiming to be the Lord of my Land, begging me to pay him for the apartment I rightfully own! I've never heard such lunacy from anyone before, and believe me, I've seen my fair share of lunatics on Reddit. After retaliating with a rather excessive display of my unparalleled mastery in verbal combat, I slammed the door in his face and ignored his threats of having me "e-vicktid" if I don't hand them the money within the month. What's the worst he could do? It's not like he can banish me from my own domain or anything. No mortal would ever leave such a pioneer of the stars such as myself to rot on the streets in these cold winter nights—I refuse to believe anyone would dare commit such a heinous crime knowing the fate of so many virtual communities is at stake. Just watch: the end of the month will arrive, and the fraud landlord will be exposed for having levied empty threats against me. I'm already pondering how I should punish him for his transgressions. I'm leaning towards casting a Luck debuff that'll make the entire rest of his life as miserable as it can. I'd love to see his wife leave him and take his kids from him, never to be seen again. Unfortunately, that kind of stuff happens offscreen so I'll only know because of the 100% success rate I have on my debuffs. It's the main reason nobody dares in